Help Boost Her Self-Esteem: It’s More Than Just Looks

Academic achievement, social skills, future life success, and general health and well-being are all tied to the complicated thing we call “self-esteem”. It’s more than just liking the way you look in the mirror one morning; it’s about how you value yourself every day, and this judgment will carry over into most other aspects of your life. Low self-esteem can be linked to eating disorders, poor grades in school, alcohol and drug use, early sexual activity, and other self-destructive behaviors. Self-esteem needs to be a high priority, and you CAN help!

~Listen to her- truly listen! Don’t simply entertain her wild ambitions and dreams, but embrace them. Your daughter’s aspirations may change on a weekly or even daily basis, but it’s your respect and support that she needs and that can stay the same week after week.
~Help her find her niche and get involved. A sports team, science or math club, 4-H, dance class, etc. There are lots of options. Studies show that teens who are involved in youth organizations and extracurricular activities not only have higher self-esteem, but also do better in school and are more likely to be involved in the community as an adult.
~Be consistent in the messages you’re sending your daughter. You can’t just talk the talk; you must also walk the walk. Proclaiming a hatred for the diet industry but a week later announcing you’re on the new fad diet until you lose ten pounds will do far more harm than you might imagine.
~Fathers, model a respectful attitude toward women. What jokes are you laughing at? How do you treat your spouse/significant other? Your daughter will notice.
~Compliment her! And not just on her cute outfit or how ‘nice’ she looks today. Those things are good, but also affirm who she IS. “I really appreciate how thoughtful you are.”, “I’m so proud of you for working so hard on that English paper.”, “Great game! That was a really good goal you scored in the second half!”
~Show up! Be there for sports events, parent-teacher conferences, recitals, etc. Your presence lets her know that you care, that you support what she’s involved in, and that you respect her enough to take the time out of your day to be a part of hers.
~Style it up…together! Your daughter’s likely interested in looks, fashion, make-up, etc. So instead of leaving her to learn from distorted magazine images, explore this together. Most department store make-up counters will do a complimentary consultation or even a full make-up application for under $10.
~Have fun! Get creative, and spend quality time together. Let her stretch her confidence and independence and choose the activity. Kayaking, a community dance class, painting pottery, shopping, going out to lunch…there are LOTS of options.

“We all want to feel like we matter to someone.” –unknown